HAPPY BIRTHDAY:
NICK YUN (28)
JUSTIN LIU (28)
CHIN YIKSIN (29)
LOLOLOL :)))
ivan fed the world.
Here is the period of the June holidays, when as the word holiday implies, students are able to sit back, relax, and have fun anytime he wants. It seems that this only applies to primary school students, no wait, it doesn't even apply to primary school students anymore.
Of course, in my school, we are no exception. They have cleverly placed Common Tests right after the June holidays so that we spend our non-curriculum time studying in the end. But no! I shall not let them have their way! At least for the past few days, all I have been doing is play, watch anime, play, watch anime - in an endless cycle. Soon, it will come to a point where there's simply no choice anymore, and the need to mug becomes apparent.
However, I believe that it would not come soon. Please, just let me enjoy a few more days of pure fun, until I become bored. Only after then, will I start to study (and become even more bored -.-) It's not even a question of motivation to study, it's just that I'm in holiday mood. And studying unfortunately just doesn't fall under my "to-do list" during holidays.
Oh well, I'll see how this turns out.
P.S. June Expedition from 9-15 June, won't be able to do anything then. Dammit thats minus one week. No choice.
ivan fed the world.
ivan fed the world.
Anyway, blogging is not something I have done recently, because it requires skill, talent, concentration, determination, perseverance, courage, precision, and of course, a lot of time. Time is not something which I have a lot of currently, even though there was time for abit of
It sort of scares me that my PW GPP is still unapproved at this stage, and we had to do our Chapter One and survey/interview questions based on a version of a GPP which has not been approved yet. Hopefully, this time it gets approved, then that's a huge load off our backs. Currently, things don't look good because nothing has been approved yet, but once the GPP has been approved, things will turn out much better in the end. That is, IF the GPP is approved. IF.
It's an unusually scary sight to see my class suddenly turning their mugger mode on. I mean, my secondary four class was an extremely mugger class, and everyone scored fantastic grades, until it doesn't seem like much of a surprise anymore. But for this class, it's weird to see people suddenly going to the library a hell lot more often than in the past to mug. I mean, for people like Puah, who can say stuff like "Eating is not important." and go straight to the library to mug instead of eat, it's not much of a surprise. But virtually the entire class goes to the library to mug ever so often nowadays, to the point of it becoming like a social spot for our class. Even I go there a lot recently, and I seem to be scaring myself =/
Econs test today, and GP Common Test tomorrow. I see people stressing so much for GP CT, but I don't actually get the idea of how you can study for it. As Zahrah and Eugene said, it's more of a long-term commitment to gaining more general knowledge or knowledge of current affairs, rather than last minute cramming of info in your head. That being said, if anyone knows how it's possible to actually mug for GP, please tell me. I want to try that too XD
Oh, and good luck everyone. Do your best :)
ivan fed the world.
Puah was just saying the other day as we passed by RI after ODAC training at HDB flats, "Now that I'm back in RI, everything seems so childish and kiddy."
How true.
Being in JC has changed me quite alot. The past afternoons where I used to be able to get home before 3, or on some days at 1 pm are long gone, and I get home now at an average of 8 pm.
Many things have taken over my life now. My friends, my CCA (which I had in the past, just that I didn't care as much as now XD), and the need to actually do work. In the past, everything was copy-able, and things would turn out fine. Just mug at the last minute, sometimes don't even need to mug, and things would turn out fine at the end of the day.
Not here, not now.
Gan Lee Suan said that all we had to do was to get our basics right. Learn price elasticity of demand well, then cross elasticity and income elasticity would come naturally to you. How true, and how harsh that statement is. Now that I did not learn the basics right, everything seems to be toppling on me. As RJC keeps spamming more and more information atop my weak foundation, all it takes is for a little tip for everything to collapse. Imagine playing Uno Stacko, and with all the many blocks on top balancing on a teeny weeny block below, and that's the situation I am in now. It's precarious, I know it, but yet it's something I feel powerless against.
Sometimes I tell myself, work hard Ivan, be like everyone else and sit down and do your work. But yet, there are just these moments of powerlessness that come along, and it just so happens to come along at the wrong times all the time. It seems like I am making excuses, but it's seriously how I feel. I think I need the encouragement to go on, and to continue to actually study. I've been trying to find such a motivation to study for the past 4 years. Throughout my years in my secondary school, I've become jaded with studying. Sometimes I just ask myself, "What's the point?" I lost the motivation I had in primary school which led me to my success, and no I have not found it back.
It's even considered out of character for me to be posting such things, but after seeing how everyone is bucking up and getting down to work in lieu of the approaching Common Tests, I cannot help but look at myself and wallow in self-despair. Which brings me to my next point:
ODAC Exco voting/selections coming up, and I'm again wallowing in self-doubt. But this time, it's not like such worries are unfounded. The people I am up against for any position would be the friends whom I have made in the past 4 months, and it is difficult to pit myself against people whom I have went on expeditions with, joked with, and had fun with. Speaking about being out of character, it's so difficult to be seen as a serious person once you are deemed as a "joker". I do crack my jokes, I do try to be as humourous a person as I can be whenever I am around my friends, but when it comes to being serious, I think I rise up to the occasion and do what I am supposed to do, and more. However, I feel that it's very difficult for people to see that aspect of me. They see Ivan, they think "HAHA THAT JOKER/PERVERT/ASSHOLE/SLACKER/blahblah", but no one thinks of me when I am actually serious and contributing. Once an opinion has been formed, it's just so damned difficult to change it. I know because I formed opinions of some people, and it is really difficult to change it. Sad, but it's a reality of life. Anyway, why am I lumping this under the ODAC Exco paragraph? It's not entirely unrelated, because what I want people to see is that I am able to be serious when I need to be, to be responsible when I need to be, to be what people expect of me when I need to be. I think that's what makes Mr. Tan so impressive. He can be a joker, he can crap a hell lot with super lame jokes or facial expressions, but we know and think that he is actually a serious and deep-thinking person. Am I simply struggling to be like him? I hope that's not what's being seen. All I want to be sure of is that I am not simply dismissed as the "slacker", the "joker", the "naban", whatever. I want to be acknowledged, and I want to actually see people putting their trust in me, and thinking of me as a person they can talk to, not simply crap to or bitch to, or sometimes even about. I think it's because of this that I want to be in the ODAC Exco, not because of the "testimonial", or the fame and glamour of being in an Exco. How many extra words will being in an Exco buy you in the testimonial? 10? 20? I care not for those. What I really want to see is people start to talk to me straight from their hearts, to trust me, and to see me as someone who is not exactly a total joker/pervert/asshole/slacker. It's more of the search for recognition that I seek, and wish to acquire.
I feel sad when people express doubt about my abilities. No matter how much self-confidence one has, he needs to be recognized by his peers to consider himself as a successful person. Why am I pushing myself? Why did I do chinups until the skin on my hands tear multiple times? Why do I endure with the pain? The answer is now obvious. It's not for the ego boost, it's just to have the pleasure of being recognized for your efforts, and I feel that's very important, and that is why JC life is so difficult.
ivan fed the world.
Came back from class camp a few days ago, and was too tired these few days to make a post. In essence, class camp was fun, but abit too short and abit too easy.
The weather was OMFGULTRAPWNAGEHOT. Especially during canoeing and rope course, the sun was there to totally pwn your face and body. I am now a black man, but after shedding my outer covering, I will be back to normal Ivan soon. Thank you so much Mr. Sun for the short-lived happiness as a blacker person :(
Canoeing was really quite mad. At the start, I was sitting at the back, and it was damn slack at the back because you can't really influence anything that the boats can do. And so, I went to the front.
Bad move.
My deltoids were dying after that, but it was more fun in front because I felt I could contribute more in front haha. With Eugene (OWNING) and Xue Qian (TANK), we directed the movement of our class. Damn fun :)
The food was really quite imba. Being very proud of my own cooking skill, I intended to help out in cooking, but when I went there, I saw one person preparing:
Sabrina - newly crowned Domestic Goddess™
And so, it was simply a case of GGXX take one step back and please do not "ban men nong fu" or else I will make a fool of myself.
And yea, as expected the food tasted great. So great that I was sitting in a strategic position in front of the main pot, next to the fishballs, holding a pair of chopsticks and the ladle which was used for cooking. Let's just say that I ate quite alot, and leave it at that :/
Night time, we looked at stars, and as compared to the Singaporean sky, there was really a lot of them. Being the serious and sensitive person I was, I just took some time to look at them and admire their beauty. Really beautiful, and on hindsight I should have taken a picture. Dammit.
When we wanted to sleep, Hongxiu, Zhefei and I decided that the road where everyone was sleeping on sucked for sleeping, and moved to a fantastic location:
The toilet.
Despite what everyone would say about "OMG THE TOILET?! WONT IT STINK?!" When Nic Yun came in to shit -.- it did, but after that everything was super nice. We had three benches there, just nice for 3 people to fully extend their legs and sleep. Have fan, the toilet is right next to you, have comfortable bench, no insects, what else can you ask for? In fact, it was so nice that Chengwen from the other class just came in in the middle of the night and slept on the floor. Hongxiu and I were like "WTF?" but continued sleeping. All the other people in our class had stiff necks and were feeling very tired the next day due to the lack of sleep, but not us :) Hahaha feel so smart XD
Rope course the next day was really quite cool. Some parts were rather challenging, some parts were really very easy. Once again, my face got totally pwned by the sun, and thanks to that my nose is peeling now. Thanks to momo for climbing both the courses with me, even though he was visibly quite tired. Also thanks to the belayers Eugene and Abikang. Abikang is surprisingly good at belaying lol, could really feel the grip and the pull of her belaying. On one hand, it's good because it's safe and it helps in the climbing, but on the other hand, it hurts in some areas. Alot. -.-
Went for Free Cone Day together with the Pasir Ris clique + Yingying + momo after that, sorry to ODAC24 for pangseh-ing you all, but I just wanted to leave these two days for my class entirely. Queued half an hour for a cone, but it was enough because I could feel my throat screaming in agony after that. Koped Shihua's dinner of bamboo rice, which Nick Yun recommended very strongly with some rather sick descriptions. Spammed myself with herbal tea which Sabrina treated me and Nick to, and my throat felt alot better lol.
Went home after that exhausted from two days of pure energy expenditure, but still can't help feeling that it should have been longer. If only there was another class camp...
ivan fed the world.