This picture I used was one of the three I took with Jon Gan when we went on our trip around Singapore -.-
Anyway I picked this picture because it portrayed me best when I smile: not a pretty sight but it's reality. And from this face recognition thingy, I look 78% like Bae Yong-Jun! How cool is that?!
Actually, no it's not. -.-
Well there are the obvious good points of looking like Bae Yong-Jun, because the guy obviously has quite good looks and obviously he is famous and popular - oh shit.
Which group of people is he most popular amongst? HOLY SHIT IT'S THE AUNTIES.
Now let's do some philosophy here:
Premise 1: Bae Yong-Jun is an auntie-killer.
Premise 2: Ivan looks 78% like Bae Yong-Jun.
Conclusion: Ivan as a 78% chance of becoming an auntie-killer.
HOLY SHIT GOD NO.
Well this is not to say he's not popular among the other people, but damn he's most famous in Singapore for being an auntie-killer. Besides, it's his body which kills apparently, since it is apparently very, um, well-built. Obviously I am not coming close to his standard of body-uberness, and so I'm actually not even close to him.
Now I can't even kill aunties -.- Ouch.
Anyway if he does kill some 16-year old girls, please make it apply for the above philosophical conclusion. Then I will have a 78% chance of killing those 16-year old girls. Please please please...
ivan fed the world.
Desiderata
Go placidly amid the noise and haste,
and remember what peace there may be in silence.
As far as possible without surrender
be on good terms with all persons.
Speak your truth quietly and clearly;
and listen to others,
even the dull and the ignorant;
they too have their story.
Avoid loud and aggressive persons,
they are vexations to the spirit.
If you compare yourself with others,
you may become vain and bitter;
for always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself.
Enjoy your achievements as well as your plans.
Keep interested in your own career, however humble;
it is a real possession in the changing fortunes of time.
Exercise caution in your business affairs;
for the world is full of trickery.
But let this not blind you to what virtue there is;
many persons strive for high ideals;
and everywhere life is full of heroism.
Be yourself.
Especially, do not feign affection.
Neither be cynical about love;
for in the face of all aridity and disenchantment
it is as perennial as the grass.
Take kindly the counsel of the years,
gracefully surrendering the things of youth.
Nurture strength of spirit to shield you in sudden misfortune.
But do not distress yourself with dark imaginings.
Many fears are born of fatigue and loneliness.
Beyond a wholesome discipline,
be gentle with yourself.
You are a child of the universe,
no less than the trees and the stars;
you have a right to be here.
And whether or not it is clear to you,
no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should.
Therefore be at peace with God,
whatever you conceive Him to be,
and whatever your labors and aspirations,
in the noisy confusion of life keep peace with your soul.
With all its sham, drudgery, and broken dreams,
it is still a beautiful world.
Be cheerful.
Strive to be happy.
Max Ehrmann, Desiderata, Copyright 1952.
Taken from: http://hobbes.ncsa.uiuc.edu/desiderata.html
Desiderata is Latin for "Things to be desired." When looking around my room one day, I saw this age-old tablet hung on the wall. It was so prominent against the backdrop of my room, but yet at the same time it was so easily looked over and ignored. Ironically, I did not notice the "things to be desired."
When I read through this on the tablet in my room, I kept looking at the last two lines: "Be cheerful. Strive to be happy." In our current society filled with stress, tension, anger, outburst, depression,
sadness, fatigue and so many other negative emotions, was it truly possible to be happy? Everyone works and slogs hard, trying to achieve their aims, their goals in life. But just what are they? To earn enough money so as to provide and care properly for the two children? Then live the life of retirement in luxury? Then die, with an elaborate and grand funeral ceremony in an expensive coffin meant to be reduced to ashes or rotten away by nature, leaving behind your family who fights for your possessions which you slogged so hard for in the first place?
Then I realised that what was truly important was our own feelings, our inner peace. The world out there can be chaotic and troubling, but if we can truly be at peace with ourselves, then nothing can really be a problem. The term "happy" is left in a vague sense precisely because it is up to us to decide how we want to be happy. It all boils down to personal interpretation.
If you think the world sucks and everything is so unfair to you, it is so.
If you think that despite all the stress, all the sadness, all the misery, the world is still a beautiful place, it is so.
Therefore what matters most is to know yourself.
Keep positive - because everything will then seem to be more beautiful. With a positive attitude in life, we are then able to view the world in its full splendour - all its positive and negative points, except that now the negative points do not seem so negative as before.
Strive to be happy - strive for our goals in life, strive for what we ourselves define to be happy. If we feel that being happy is having a well-bonded family which supports each other through thick and thin, so be it. Work towards the goal, and strive to achieve that dream.
There are two sides to a coin - as with the positive, the negative will be there. But in the midst of all the negative threatening to corrode our inner peace, we must still recall the fact that the positive still exists, and take pleasure that it is still within our grasp.
Comparison is okay - to the point of self-improvement, comparison is good, but to the point of fanaticism, comparison suddenly turns negative, because there will always be better or worse persons than yourself.
This poem is inspiring, and surprisingly logical. When "happiness" was left to be openly defined, the whole poem gets put into place. Anything is possible as long as we strive for our happiness, because when we feel happy, everything we had to go through will be worth it.
When I looked at the part about the loud and aggressive persons, on hindsight it does sound like me, and therefore I am a vexation to the spirit. This got me thinking, and I feel that there has to be some people like me to be around, or else the world would seem gloomier. When I suan a person, the surrounding people laugh which brings joy to more people at the expense of a single person. And once again, I can only be a vexation to the spirit if I am interpreted to be one; it is the personal viewpoint which matters. In other words, be positive! When I suan you, think of the positive side of things! You are the centre of attention, and the people are laughing because of you. Without you, the people would not be able to experience that moment of fun and joy, if not for a second. Therefore, be at peace with yourself, think more positive thoughts, and let me suan you more, for it brings pleasure to myself and others. LOL.
ivan fed the world.
I went through this day wearily, trudging through lessons which were meant to be slack-filled (or a better term would be work-less). This could be due to the various early mornings I've had this past week, sleeping at 2-3 am.
Mother: "Ivan ah, 为什么你睡那么迟的..."
Me: "你以为我要meh..."
In actual fact, I've been sleeping at 2-3 am willingly. WHAT FOR IVAN? WHY NOT SLEEP MORE? WHY TORTURE YOURSELF?
Hmmm... I think it doesn't qualify as torture if you are actually gaming at that time, right? =/
Anyway I had two tests today. First test, Geography CCT, and second, Australian Mathematics Competition.
1) Geography CCT
What can I say? Waerry guud (Y). When we hear "Wow you all got 40 minutes for TWO questions? And you got FIVE minutes to read the questions beforehand," we get all excited and think: "OMG got so much time to do, must do properly and own the test."
Bullshit.
Let's see... the second question is divided into parts (a) and (b), and then part (a) is further divided into part (i) and (ii). Why the hell does RI love splitting this shit up and making the test seem short when it's not? -.-
So in effect, we are actually doing 4 questions in a space of 40 minutes. If this still seems like it's alot of time to you, be reminded that the subject at hand is GEOGRAPHY, meaning lots of spammage which will probably be useless anyway.
And so the main problem was as usual, time. Ong Wai Ling, as usual, screwed up by telling us that we did not need to use a fresh sheet of paper for the next question. Leech, as usual, was making a lot of noise. And lastly, as usual, I screwed up :)
Even people from other classes who did not take Geography heard of the time constraints and enquired about it. Zhihe's reply? "Don't ask." lol.
2) Australian Mathematics Competition
For this, I need to state to my non-RI friends that this does not mean that I am a crazy maths fag who does super well and allows me to go for an international competition. This is just a test which is something like the format of New South Wales, albeit a lot harder. Alot. Really a shit lot.
Now, I must thank God for the presence of China scholars. Surely, they might be irritating at times (think 4B irritating ex-Shaolin monk chenxiang*), but without one of them, this test would have been failed, honestly speaking. I did all the way until question 18/30 by myself, and then got stuck. Looked over at the answer sheet to my left, and suddenly the shine and glow of enlightenment overpowered my eyes, giving me superpowered vision for the period of the test. While I did copy most of it, I tried three of the remaining twelve questions on my own seriously, and on further discussion, only got one wrong :)
Bored, and got home really late. Tomorrow will be the same with Maya, which is honestly getting boring. But then again the perk is that when DMP period arrives, I can laugh at everyone else like AngJJ. Ah, just looking at the future keeps me going.
*P.S. Not capitalized properly = have totally no respect for him/her/it. Point to be noted for the future.
ivan fed the world.
I feel a bit random today, and as it is currently 2.17 am as I am making this blogpost, I shall do some simple picture blogging - with pictures taken from my phone. Another reason why I want to picture blog? Yes I am an evil asshole who wants everyone with 56k connections to go die now.
And on a completely random note, HAPPY BIRTHDAY JON GAN! Do feel honoured that I specially added colour tags for you -.-
Anyway, let's GOGOGO!
Look who we have here? None other than our funnyman Jason Ang JJ! He was trying to hide from me but I managed to take him nevertheless XD
The Dark League Chairman and Secretary. Enough said. Join the Darkness.
The Dark League Chairman who is I.
There in front is Zhiqian, and behind is AngJJ and Li Ji. Li Ji's spectacle position deserves a lol, but AngJJ just being there deserves a LOL.
Some lame picture I took on a paper bag this old lady was carrying. O_o
Doesn't everybody just love the lesson? Everybody is sooo interested in it!
Courtesy of 4B noticeboard lol.
LOL RJC female toilet door. I was laughing like mad when I saw this until a few RJC people turned to stare at me. Memories XD
Even now, as I am posting this picture, I am still laughing at this. Bala, in case anyone does not know (you can only not know her by the way, she is impossible to not notice), is a very very um, overweight Indian judoka, and is famous both in RI and RJC. While I did not expect the RJC people to really not laugh at her, this one really takes the cake. Such a big fat face XD
New thing to note: 长的乳磨不利狗冰的懒 long breast cannot sharpen dog's icy dick.
Just what does it mean? I'll tell you later.*
Currently, I'm supporting the Kwan Must Die campaign. Bloody hell, I thought it was only me who was pissed with him until I heard about some 4G members getting damn pissed with him as well. Asking people to shift judo mats for you during their PE lesson is completely okay, and we do not mind - but barking at us like we are slaves is an entirely different matter. We are doing a favour to you by helping you shift the mats, so show your appreciation by not barking like a dog or whining that we never place the mats properly like a sissy. Seriously, I think he can be placed as No. 1 asshole in the PE department.
But nevertheless, such things do not get the Ivan down, and I continue to live happily and not hand in homework as well -.-
Coming back from supporting gym competition, the homework just rushes back at me in a tidal wave, with the majority coming from chinese (no surprise there, and I still do not respect it). Not going to be able to hand in everything due on time, and basically I think I can't really be bothered anymore. Bleah.
*P.S. Chandru Mirpuri Gobindram. Figure it out.
ivan fed the world.
With the hairchecks impending on Mondays, it has come to be what we dread and fear.
Hair touching ear! FAIL.
Hair crossing eyebrow! FAIL.
Hair touching collar! FAIL.
Anything exceeding just a LITTLE BIT! FAIL.
With such unreasonable expectations, like as if our hair truly reflects our character, the RIPB is like an army ready to pull people out of a line to send them to the shooting squad (i.e. to be booked).
They say: "Your hair reflects your personal character." BULLSHIT. Look at leech. He has hair which was designed by placing a bowl on top of your head and simply shaving, or in other words, the now common - bowlcut. But he is still one of the craziest, gayest, lamest guys in class! How do you explain that, RIPB?
But do not fear. There is always hope for a better age - Auspicium Melioris Aevi. As everyone fears their hair being too long on Mondays and struggle to pull their hair back, I simply employ a few cheap tricks to cheat the prefects, which is why until today I remain demerit-point-FREE!*
Old methods of evading prefects like hiding in the toilet simply do not work/require too much effort! While some of these methods might already be in use by some people, I am here to provide you with new ideas once your arsenal of weaponry against the RIPB is old and outdated. So here goes:
1) Keeping the rest of the hair short
One of the main features of the hair which we try to keep long no matter what is the fringe. It is a vital aesthetical portion of your hair - the rest can go to hell, but the fringe must remain long and stylish. As such, when you cut your hair, you can cut the rest of the hair short, but keep the fringe long. Therefore, when the prefect goes over to check your hair, human psychology will tell him to look at the overall impression of the hair, overlooking your beautifully-long fringe, letting you get away with a pass.
2) Hiding behind another person
This is one of the craziest tactics I have ever employed, and it worked for me for three long weeks of long overdue illegally-long hair before I decided to just get it over with. Having a small build, this is indeed easier for me, as I pretend to talk to another person, at the same time constantly shielding myself from the prefect's point-of-view by hiding behind another person who has passable hair. As everyone knows, a prefect only goes down the line from one side of the line, and if you manage to evade his check, then you are able to pass despite having crazily-long hair. Also, using human psychology, when you are talking to another person, the prefect, who does not know you well enough, will then be too shy to ask you to stop talking and tell you that you failed, even if he did glance at your hair. While this is a gamble, it must be pulled off with sufficient skill and finesse for it to work effectively, so always also keep an eye on the prefect on whether he is gazing at you. If he is, then employ another method as soon as possible, or you are in deep shit.
3) Frowning
The fringe, as mentioned earlier, is an important aspect of the hair that a lot of prefects spend a lot of time looking out for. Some even take this so importantly that if you pass your fringe, your hair passes overall/can be let off with a warning. Therefore, in order to pass the fringe test, we must employ a method called frowning. You see, prefects use the eyebrows as a benchmark for whether your fringe passes or fails. If a single hair goes beyond the eyebrows, you fail. If all of them are kept neat and tidy within the forehead range, you pass. Simple as that. So when you frown, your eyebrows are therefore lowered, giving a greater range for your hair to pass. Some smarter prefects are able to see through this, however, so always keep caution.
4) Double-edged sword: Telling the prefect to hurry up
You see, the prefect always has doubts in his head as in whether to pass or fail you. It's normal, it's human psychology. Nobody can ever tell you that you fail without hesitation, unless you are somebody like Will Zhang. Therefore, this method uses this moment of doubt to it's advantage, causing the prefect to let you go off scott-free. Being among the first few in the class to be checked of course is an advantage as the prefect then has the mindset that there will definitely be others to fail at the back of the line. If you are at the back of the line, I advise you to NOT use this method, unless he has failed a lot of people already from the front and middle of the line. When the prefect gazes at you, you simply tell him to hurry up. Why is it a double-edged sword? This is due to the fact that you do not know what he is thinking about at the moment. He could be thinking of failing you, and when you tell him to hurry up, he might just accelerate that opinion and indeed hurry up in failing you. However, equally likely to happen is the thinking of passing you, and therefore you accelerate this opinion. However, it is still a very tough gamble, and it is advised not to use this unless you have no other options. Also, the character of the prefect comes into play as well. When you have somebody like Will Zhang who tries to fail people, then you do not use this method. When you have somebody like Chris Kwan who tries to pass people/plainly just slack, then this method is ideal.
I have employed these methods to great use, to the point of people around me going "WTF? How you pass when Foolai fail?" or something to that extent. Therefore, these methods must come with practice and of course, undeniably, luck. I wish everyone good luck in employing these methods, and hopefully, they might save you from the crosshairs of the shooting squad.
*P.S. These methods, while useful, are solely for entertainment purposes. I do not take responsibility for any failures, or any form of negative outcomes that may take place as a result of employing these tactics. Also, to the sole prefect who reads my blog, Shawn, you are free to use any counter to these methods on YOUR OWN CLASS. Do not spread the knowledge of these methods to your fellow shooting squad, er, I mean prefects, unless you wish to face the wrath of Ivan Chong and/or the class. Also, new methods are also employable in my head at any time, so it is advisable to not try anything funny by communication about these methods to any other prefects. Well, we have to pity 4D though. I envision a lot more failures coming from their class because of the leakage of these methods.
ivan fed the world.
I have not blogged for a long long time, partially because I'm lazy to, partially because I have many projects/games to attend to, and partially because everyone else did not blog as well.
Then when I saw everyone's blogs suddenly updated one day, I went all "OMG PEER PRESSURE" and here I am now blogging once again :/
I went to gym today, and chose not to go watch Harry Potter because I did not watch the movies before it, and did not read all the books. Therefore, I was afraid of becoming lost in the myriad of mystical and enchanting elements within the storyline, which simply put, means wasting $8.
So at the gym, leech, Zhihe, Jon Gan and I went to work out and try out all the different equipment, and it was really quite a fun experience.
Training our wrists with 2.5 kg dumbbells, doing assisted chinups when I can do the real thing were all quite funny. leech was playing around with the weights and doing bicep curls with 2.5 kg dumbbells, while the rest of us were doing 5 kg and nearly died doing so. Then the other day we saw Romy (don't know how to spell) doing like one of the heaviest weights (17.5 kg or so) like as if it was a piece of paper he was lifting.
Then our relief teacher was also running on the treadmill and doing weights like they were nothing. Seriously the PE teachers are mad.
And the benefits they get are good too. Let's examine why:
1) They work for as good as half a day
2) They get the same pay as normal subject teachers
3) They get free use of equipment
4) The only teachers who can afford not to care about their students' grades
5) The gym is right next to their office, so they can work out and then go do their work (or lack of it) very conveniently
When I grow up, I'm becoming a PE teacher in RI. It's too good to be true.
And so over the past few days we had some random lessons in which we decided to show off some of our artistic talents: Biology and Social Studies.
During a Biology lab session:
Carving my name into a sweat pea pod using a scalpel
During a Social Studies discussion as to what Active Citizenry is, courtesy of Gene:
What can I say? Creativity FTW.
I think I'm hitting a dry spot and getting writer's block. Don't really know what to write now. Sad.
P.S. leech is a gay fag.
ivan fed the world.
It's been 5 days since I last posted. To all my lovely fans out there, which I can incidentally count with my fingers alone, I am not dead. To all my enemies out there who cannot wait to see me die, which incidentally I can count with the hair on my head, screw off.
Anyway there are three reasons for not posting much recently:
1) Too many damn projects (I'll talk about this later)
2) Too many games - This is my nature, I cannot help it.
3) Nothing to post - Life has been boring, and Youth Week does not make any difference.
Okay, now let's look at the projects bit. I have done my research on other schools whom I have contacts in, and it turns out that they have 0-2 projects every year. For us, it comes to about 0-2 projects every MONTH. Talk about super contrast. 12:1. (Y) Anyway, because of the mountainous load of projects that we get, we hardly get time for anything else, while other schools actually get time to study. Talk about ironic, because it seems our "mugger" reputation isn't that true after all.
Now for too many games. Into the June holidays, I played DotA alot at first, and then I stumbled across Corum Online. That got me hooked for about two weeks, and then I went to my friend's blog and saw JX2 Online. Then I continued from then until now. It seems like when I stop one game, another game pops out of nowhere and grabs me by my hands. Then the game places my hands on the keyboard and mouse and force me to play them, which I kind of enjoy anyway =/
Then some of my friends convinced me to try AuditionSEA. I thought it was relatively similar to O2Jam, which I once played, but damn I was soo wrong. Bottomline: I think I suck at it, although my friends tell me to start out slow first.
Nothing to post. Seriously. What do you want to know? Distinction for New South Wales Science which is hailed as the collapse of the Dark League? The clothes I wore to school for Youth Week? The diarrhoea I'm facing these few days? Oh wait, those are actually potential topics, come to think of it =/
The euphoria about the gym in our school was kind of weird, because we actually knew that there was a gym in our school, but we didn't go to see or use it. Then even Yitao and Qiwei went to the gym. Chee Yang was asking me why I didn't go to the gym, when even they went. Being the asshole I am, I of course have a response worthy to fit my title:
"They go gym also cannot be stronger than me. Useless one la."
But the same can be said for me and Jonny for example lol. It's just like different leagues. You don't see the Singaporean football team qualifying for the World Cup in 20 years' time, do you? Simply because it's impossible =/ So there lies the concept of being in different leagues. It's just a space that you cannot overcome. I cannot beat Jonny any time, but Yitao and Qiwei got potential to beat me. So do try hard. I'll be waiting in about 20 years' time. Jokes XD
Anyway we saw this:
You can see that this is in a room, and yes that thing right there in the middle, is a bird. So, a bird in an aircon room. That's weird enough. Then you look at your surroundings, and you are in a store called Popular in Junction 8. How the hell did the bird get there in the first place? I guess it really knows how to enjoy life. And I should have taken a video of it, because shortly after taking this picture, the bird flew away and scared some of the female customers. Quite a funny scene indeed XD
Hope this post is not too long to be boring. Bye.
ivan fed the world.
Some events of note the past few days:
We went to play pool, which is becoming something of a tradition during holidays.
Form teacher: "And so, Thursday and Friday will be holiday due to staff training."
Julian: *face brightens up* "Eh Cheng Han, want to pool?"
Cheng Han aka Leech: *face brightens up in the exact same way as Julian* "Ya ok! Call everyone else!"
Julian: "Eh Ivan you free?"
Ivan: "I'm always free." - This is actually a fact. People say I'm busy playing, but usually thats bullshit. I'm always free to go out to play etc. Of course this is subject to my lovely parents giving their oh-so-powerful permission. But this shows that I am rather sad because of the fact that I'm always free. Oh well =/
Went for our DMP module, which is to learn 3D modelling and animation with Maya. I give up.
The lovely module gave me a headache on my very first lesson. The way they can do things is interesting, yea sure. DOING the bloody thing is a pain in the ass. I don't want to elaborate further, or else I would be reminded of this scar in my ass which will remain forever. Ten more weeks to go, yay!
Oh and I am downloading Maya using torrent LOL. Watermark gone FTW (Y)
And then this is about today, oh wait yesterday -.- As I am writing this post, it is 3.15 am in the morning. Oh well normal time for me I guess.
Zhihe, Jon Gan, Chee Yang, and I went to build our Greenwave project prototype. Jason did not come because of competition.
Jon Gan, Chee Yang and I got into the school by climbing over the school gate because we were lazy to walk one big round to get to the main entrance. Then we went into the seminar room through the window, sneaking all the time to make sure nobody was looking. At this time I am pretty sure. My future job: ninja.
Anyway we built a prototype thing. And well as expected of the Dark League, we failed lol. So we spotted this hamster cage thing that would have worked well with our prototype. Therefore we put the two together, and voila it was working quite okay.
Then, tragedy struck.
The boys from the other seminar room where we got the hamster cage from came to tell us that that was their hamster cage. We were all going "Shit shit, what shall we do? Should we pay them? Run away? How? How?! HOW?!?!" So we were basically quite panicky, especially Jon Gan, because he probably had the greatest conscience among us. So we offered to pay those guys in the end.
Tragedy No. 2 struck.
They explained to us that it was not being used, because the hamster in it actually died, so they were keeping it as a memento. Even my heart of bloody titanium was kind of dented abit by that. That hamster cage was priceless, but we just scavenged it for our project.
Imagine this:
You are dead. You are buried underground, with a gravestone above you. Somebody comes along and says, "Hey isn't that a marble gravestone? That's expensive man! Let's take it!" And they proceed to smash up your gravestone so they can take the marble. Damn... that hurts.
Then the boys said it was okay in the end, so we went away while apologizing. Afterwards, Jon Gan was going on about this remorse thing, and it was really kind of bad for us to do such a thing. Then he went on to say that assassins are stronger mentally rather than physically because they can kill WITHOUT REMORSE.
Strangely, at that point in time, everyone was kind of feeling remorseful except me. I was actually telling Jon Gan to feel no remorse, otherwise we will just keep getting dragged back by that. Which further substantiates my point. My future job: ninja.
Well, it is indeed sad what we did, but what's done is done. Call me an asshole or whatever, but it's actually a blessing in disguise that we took the cage, because then the boys would be able to move on without missing the hamster. Strictly my opinion though, others might think otherwise. I don't know.
Anyway let's just hope that their sacrifice was worth it, and our project would be a success. As much of an asshole as I am, I still want to say sorry for what we did, which was inexcusable.
*switches tempo*
Floor hockey training was held today as well, with the usual drills. But we actually had a soccer game as a warmup. Damn I LOVE this. We are actually getting CIP hours, and helping these children to train them up, while simultaneously doing something that we love very much - both soccer and floor hockey of course.
Everyone was lively, everyone was excited, and I think everyone had fun. And if everyone is having fun, then I say that the goal is accomplished. I hope everyone will have fun next week as well!
Anyway let's end this marathon blogpost off with a picture that I took from the seminar room.
It was actually Raffles Got Talent, but I kind of peeled off part of the G so it read Raffles CoT* Talent. It seems cooler this way, and gets rid of the broken English. Works well both ways, don't you think?
*If you do not know what CoT is, then it is not for you to know. Heh.
ivan fed the world.