With the hairchecks impending on Mondays, it has come to be what we dread and fear.
Hair touching ear! FAIL.
Hair crossing eyebrow! FAIL.
Hair touching collar! FAIL.
Anything exceeding just a LITTLE BIT! FAIL.
With such unreasonable expectations, like as if our hair truly reflects our character, the RIPB is like an army ready to pull people out of a line to send them to the shooting squad (i.e. to be booked).
They say: "Your hair reflects your personal character." BULLSHIT. Look at leech. He has hair which was designed by placing a bowl on top of your head and simply shaving, or in other words, the now common - bowlcut. But he is still one of the craziest, gayest, lamest guys in class! How do you explain that, RIPB?
But do not fear. There is always hope for a better age - Auspicium Melioris Aevi. As everyone fears their hair being too long on Mondays and struggle to pull their hair back, I simply employ a few cheap tricks to cheat the prefects, which is why until today I remain demerit-point-FREE!*
Old methods of evading prefects like hiding in the toilet simply do not work/require too much effort! While some of these methods might already be in use by some people, I am here to provide you with new ideas once your arsenal of weaponry against the RIPB is old and outdated. So here goes:
1) Keeping the rest of the hair short
One of the main features of the hair which we try to keep long no matter what is the fringe. It is a vital aesthetical portion of your hair - the rest can go to hell, but the fringe must remain long and stylish. As such, when you cut your hair, you can cut the rest of the hair short, but keep the fringe long. Therefore, when the prefect goes over to check your hair, human psychology will tell him to look at the overall impression of the hair, overlooking your beautifully-long fringe, letting you get away with a pass.
2) Hiding behind another person
This is one of the craziest tactics I have ever employed, and it worked for me for three long weeks of long overdue illegally-long hair before I decided to just get it over with. Having a small build, this is indeed easier for me, as I pretend to talk to another person, at the same time constantly shielding myself from the prefect's point-of-view by hiding behind another person who has passable hair. As everyone knows, a prefect only goes down the line from one side of the line, and if you manage to evade his check, then you are able to pass despite having crazily-long hair. Also, using human psychology, when you are talking to another person, the prefect, who does not know you well enough, will then be too shy to ask you to stop talking and tell you that you failed, even if he did glance at your hair. While this is a gamble, it must be pulled off with sufficient skill and finesse for it to work effectively, so always also keep an eye on the prefect on whether he is gazing at you. If he is, then employ another method as soon as possible, or you are in deep shit.
3) Frowning
The fringe, as mentioned earlier, is an important aspect of the hair that a lot of prefects spend a lot of time looking out for. Some even take this so importantly that if you pass your fringe, your hair passes overall/can be let off with a warning. Therefore, in order to pass the fringe test, we must employ a method called frowning. You see, prefects use the eyebrows as a benchmark for whether your fringe passes or fails. If a single hair goes beyond the eyebrows, you fail. If all of them are kept neat and tidy within the forehead range, you pass. Simple as that. So when you frown, your eyebrows are therefore lowered, giving a greater range for your hair to pass. Some smarter prefects are able to see through this, however, so always keep caution.
4) Double-edged sword: Telling the prefect to hurry up
You see, the prefect always has doubts in his head as in whether to pass or fail you. It's normal, it's human psychology. Nobody can ever tell you that you fail without hesitation, unless you are somebody like Will Zhang. Therefore, this method uses this moment of doubt to it's advantage, causing the prefect to let you go off scott-free. Being among the first few in the class to be checked of course is an advantage as the prefect then has the mindset that there will definitely be others to fail at the back of the line. If you are at the back of the line, I advise you to NOT use this method, unless he has failed a lot of people already from the front and middle of the line. When the prefect gazes at you, you simply tell him to hurry up. Why is it a double-edged sword? This is due to the fact that you do not know what he is thinking about at the moment. He could be thinking of failing you, and when you tell him to hurry up, he might just accelerate that opinion and indeed hurry up in failing you. However, equally likely to happen is the thinking of passing you, and therefore you accelerate this opinion. However, it is still a very tough gamble, and it is advised not to use this unless you have no other options. Also, the character of the prefect comes into play as well. When you have somebody like Will Zhang who tries to fail people, then you do not use this method. When you have somebody like Chris Kwan who tries to pass people/plainly just slack, then this method is ideal.
I have employed these methods to great use, to the point of people around me going "WTF? How you pass when Foolai fail?" or something to that extent. Therefore, these methods must come with practice and of course, undeniably, luck. I wish everyone good luck in employing these methods, and hopefully, they might save you from the crosshairs of the shooting squad.
*P.S. These methods, while useful, are solely for entertainment purposes. I do not take responsibility for any failures, or any form of negative outcomes that may take place as a result of employing these tactics. Also, to the sole prefect who reads my blog, Shawn, you are free to use any counter to these methods on YOUR OWN CLASS. Do not spread the knowledge of these methods to your fellow shooting squad, er, I mean prefects, unless you wish to face the wrath of Ivan Chong and/or the class. Also, new methods are also employable in my head at any time, so it is advisable to not try anything funny by communication about these methods to any other prefects. Well, we have to pity 4D though. I envision a lot more failures coming from their class because of the leakage of these methods.
ivan fed the world.